tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post374233220799914597..comments2023-10-28T05:29:44.713-07:00Comments on All Gawdess All The Time: Yeah.Gawdesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09646113157120724047noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-45432804726989273912008-03-05T19:57:00.000-08:002008-03-05T19:57:00.000-08:00Thanks for writing. I used to read your old blog ...Thanks for writing. I used to read your old blog and just found this one. I appreciate reading about your experiences, both as a trauma survivor and as a mom!Emmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15453948129003575568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-24775632915113961062008-02-16T07:07:00.000-08:002008-02-16T07:07:00.000-08:00I relate entirely to the last paragraph you wrote,...I relate entirely to the last paragraph you wrote, and I relate to the pargraph before it in the sense that I have completely inverted it--I've responded to my childhood neglect and abuse by really wanting the assurance that comes from physical contact. Of course, then I went and, like klee, married a non-toucher who is terrified of intimacy and then spent ten years wondering why she could never love me. I kept wondering why she could never appreciate anything I did, and responded by being harder on myself and trying to do more. That dynamic worked out really well, too.Scrivenerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05922358016805022637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-91482033598216635692008-02-02T10:28:00.000-08:002008-02-02T10:28:00.000-08:00I think it takes a very strong person not only to ...I think it takes a very strong person not only to survive past trauma, but to relive it AND STILL function. <BR/><BR/>I know from personal experience that I can function up to a certain point, and after that, I detach. <BR/><BR/>It seems to me that you're managing, and quite well at that, to not only survive, but to spend time with those you love, and try and make yourself and those around you happier. That's got to count for something.<BR/><BR/>I'm a touchy-feely person. I grew up with huggers, and have always been a very demonstrative person. I married a non-toucher, so I became well aware that not everyone was like me. I can certainly understand where past trauma can make you more leery of personal contact. I had some of that after my incident.<BR/><BR/>I feel just like you in regard to wanting everyone to like me, and trying to keep everyone happy. I don't shoot for sheer perfection in myself, but I do tend to over-analyze my role in things, and in other people's reactions to me. I'm also my own worst critic. What others see as talents of mine, I am not quite so praise-worthy towards.<BR/><BR/>I think ampersand's comment: "but as broken as we are, we're also beautiful...because we're still here and still trying to love and be loved, even as unevenly as we may do that," was wonderful and said it so much better that I could articulate right now.KLeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00432371404842970536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-11933700892956150742008-01-31T23:50:00.000-08:002008-01-31T23:50:00.000-08:00lord, your breakfast sounded wonderful! you made ...lord, your breakfast sounded wonderful! you made goat cheese bechamel that early in the morning? gawdess indeed!<BR/><BR/>and i fully appreciated your wordplay. con-tenting. hahahaha! the english teacher is tickled. <BR/><BR/>i have to be honest; i have never been the victim of any serious trauma, and most less serious traumas i've endured have been at least partly of my own making. that said, i get where you're coming from on the perfectionism thing, on the hyperanalytical thing, on the my-own-worst-critic thing. <BR/><BR/>i second ampersand wholeheartedly. you are a beautiful soul. being new to this blog, i've only read back a few months so far, but it's been enough to give evidence to your incredible capacity for love. pretty cool. your kids are lucky.concretegodmotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15715507653195339418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-4572192518753643622008-01-31T21:35:00.000-08:002008-01-31T21:35:00.000-08:00what is it that you fear most by not being in cont...what is it that you fear most by not being in control?<BR/><BR/>is it being vulnerable to past trauma, worried it will be revisited... is it feeling that if caught off guard those previous hurts can embed themselves within your life once again?<BR/><BR/>I used to hate the one responsible for all my insecurities and then I realized, over a LONG period of time, that I had to let it go. not just the person, but the hatred and fear. it took AGES, and the loss of someone very loved. but the biggest gift I ever got was the one I never expected. <BR/><BR/>I learned how to forgive and to walk away, to leave it behind. I couldn't carry that agony any longer. and when I finally did...<BR/><BR/>there came peace... which I wish and pray for you this night...ipmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13018306395625774737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-14898523795667792802008-01-31T13:44:00.000-08:002008-01-31T13:44:00.000-08:00I too relate to what you are saying. It is reassur...I too relate to what you are saying. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one. <BR/>It's odd the lengths we go to try to control our enviroment. It can almost seem OCD at times.Channiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10654286853518747486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3131986223774590221.post-83966858083049887172008-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:002008-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:00jesus.you're singing my song."I don't like people ...jesus.<BR/><BR/>you're singing my song.<BR/><BR/>"I don't like people touching me, unless I really know them and feel we have a trusting relationship.<BR/>I don't deal well with being startled by loud noises or being bumped into, it takes a huge amount of control to manage my flight or fight impulses in those cases."<BR/><BR/>yep. I even have to sleep alone. <BR/><BR/>(Well I did not start out that way, but my husband's snoring help me find out how much better I like sleeping ALL ALONE.)<BR/><BR/>but as broken as we are, we're also beautiful...because we're still here and still trying to love and be loved, even as unevenly as we may do that.<BR/><BR/>wow. I just can't get over this connection.<BR/><BR/>peace, sister.Ampersandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14469014547016164445noreply@blogger.com