Sunday, May 20, 2007

He is Gone

"I think that we missed our window of opportunity."
That's how his social worker put it.

Thursday afternoon Monkey, Buddy and I went and picked up Obie from his motel and met his social worker too.

That was a first.
She was nice and down to earth and seems to really care about Obie.

She was also hoping that Monkey and Buddy would be able to use any influence that they had to get Obie to have a blood test the following morning that he didn't want to have.

A blood test that he needed so that he could get into the treatment placement right away, they had just had an opening.

Obie didn't want it and said that he didn't want to go into treatment anymore but he did say he would think about it.

The kids, along with me offered to pick him up and take him to the clinic. Monkey asked me if we could take him to Dairy Queen as a treat for after and even get him a little present too, like we do whenever they have to do something hard. So that was offered too.

Then I had them back off and we went to a nearby playground for a little picnic and some playtime.

I have mentioned before that Monkey and Buddy get a bit too wired around their brother. It is like they feel their brains are allowed to go on holiday. This time was no different.
Buddy got wedged into the rubber baby swing.

Yeah, I didn't quite believe it either.
But there he was, good and tight.
Or rather bad and tight.
For a few minutes I thought we might have to call in outside assistance.
Finally though with much whimpering, some scraping and bruising we freed him.

There were a few minutes that I did take to talk to Obie about treatment.
I told him bluntly that I knew it was really scary.
No I have never been in treatment, but I did go into an intense therapy program to try and break the cycle of violence and stop hitting my oldest son.
It was really hard.

I also told him that he was already good at having to hustle to live, he had to be to stay reasonably safe on the streets and eat etc. but that I was worried if he had to keep doing that kind of thing that he would end up hustling his little brother and sister one day, because that is the way that addiction works.

He seemed okay with me saying that and that was the end of it.
They played a bit more and we dropped him off with some books and a package of Bits and Bites at his motel room.

That was the last time that we have seen him.

We heard from his social worker the next morning, she had managed to get him to the clinic for the blood work but he was having a melt down, I could hear him yelling in the background.

I called her later and she said he had bolted and was gone.
If we heard from him we needed to notify the police.
He had started using heavily again.

Since then I have been trying to hold it all together.
Monkey and Buddy are having a tough, tough time.

Addiction has robbed them of so much.


Yondalla said...

Damn. I hate it when they run away. I hate it.

It is a disease that causes so much damage in so many ways.

I know they are quite young, but I wonder if any of the Alateen literature would be helpful to them.

cloudscome said...

This is so hard. I am sorry you all have to live through this. Hang in there.

Granny said...

There is also Alatot for younger kids. I looked online at the Alanon website and couldn't find specific meeting information but probably the local Alanon group would know.

I am so sorry and I certainly don't have any answers. I do know from personal experience that addicts and alcoholics are expert at working against their own best interests.

Sometimes there is no solution.

Oinkstop said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ipodmomma said...

I am so so sorry and am praying for all of you....

FosterAbba said...

Dealing with troubled kids is hard. Dealing with the even more troubled siblings of troubled kids is even harder. I'm sorry for you and I'm sorrier for your kids.