Monday, May 7, 2007

Yesterday's News

Yesterday, I took the day off from church and from running and from feeling bad about how messy the house was.

After dropping Buddy off at his babysitting course and checking in at church to make sure it would all flow smoothly without me...
and handing the electronic game system to 8 year old Monkey (I am not above bribery)...

I climbed into the bathtub
I read a book.

It would be hard to explain how good it felt to do those two things.
Kind of like I was refreshing my soul.

After I had turned the last page and stretched, oh so luxuriously in the warm water, I checked the time.


Buddy should be phoning anytime for us to come and meet him to take him out to lunch.
With the course he is taking, they don't set a specific time for the break, because it happens when they have covered a certain amount of the material.

Fifteen minutes later, still no call.
Check phone.
It is off the hook.
Even if he has been phoning, Buddy will not get an answer.
Just a busy signal.

Freaking out, on my part ensues.

Three siblings are herded into the van.
Rubber is burned.

The guy at the front desk - who doesn't answer the phone on the weekend - he is just the guy at the desk - says "Oh yeah, the broke for lunch already and are back in class now, your little fella kept trying to get a hold of you, over and over."

I sprint up the stairs two at a time to the second floor and burst into the classroom.

His face is so white and drawn and his eyes so big and scared and unsure.
Me babbling to him and teacher and class at large.
"I'm so sorry, phone was off hook, he needs lunch, I'm going to get it and he can eat in here right?"

Sprint back out.
Buy food for rest of family and take out for Buddy.
I wave him out of the class to take it from me.

Then I burst into tears and I am down on my knees, arms wrapped around him.
I am so sorry Son, so, so sorry.
It was an accident! We didn't know the phone was off the hook!
I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you needed me, I'm so sorry you were scared and that another Mom didn't seem to be where she said she would be.
I'm so sorry you felt let down and abandoned even for just a little while.

He is hugging me and kissing my cheeks.
It's okay Mom! Really, it's okay! It wasn't anyone's fault! It was an accident!

Finally we are laughing as we wipe each other's cheeks.

And straightening his shoulders, back in he goes with his BLT, orange juice and fries.

What a kid.


Yondalla said...

I know it doesn't feel like it, but I think it is good for him. It is good for him to learn that you are human but that even if he can't reach you, you still are "there." There will be other times when he can't get ahold of you, times when you are unavoidably late. Slowly he will learn not to panic during those times.

He can't learn to trust ordinary, loving, fallible people if everyone in his new family is perfect.

I hope this all didn't sound like a lecture. I was hoping it would be comforting.

It's good that you took the bath. I hope the experience doesn't prevent you from doing many good things for yourself.

parodie said...

To echo yondalla - you know (and I will simply mention this as a reminder) that kids need to see their parents make and deal with mistakes.

But wow, sounds like a stressful event! So much for the relaxing bath!

ipodmomma said...

oh yeah, whatta kid!!!

but it still so scary and you feel horrible and yet he's getting to a good place with you and that is terrific...

thank heavens for the small victories..

cloudscome said...

What a touching story. I am sure he was impressed with your urgency in making it up to him - the repair work is really important. I am glad you got a little time to relax in any case.