A Year Ago Today

What I wrote after meeting my youngest children for the first time:


They are beautiful, bright children.

Of course.

Buddy is quiet and somewhat reserved.
Monkey, bouncier and more outgoing.

It was a good two hours. Not too many awkward moments. We were so busy going through the album that we made for them and looking at their life books and then watching them play in the pool and getting splashed and playing catch that the two hours went by very quickly.

Monkey gravitated towards me and very much wanted all my attention and she wasn't as interested in my husband , which meant that he spent more of the time with Buddy.

At one point Monkey hugged me and said that she thought she would like living with me. Even better than where she is now. I think I surprised her when I didn't hug her back and when I told her that I thought that it would probably be pretty good most of the time but that I imagined that sometimes it wouldn't be all that good either because everyone is grumpy or unhappy some of the time.

She thought about that and then said, "Well I better get used to the idea anyway."

I thought that was pretty telling.

I mentioned already that they are beautiful children, but that doesn't capture at all how utterly gorgeous and appealing that they are.

Bright, funny and captivating.

We get to see them again on Wednesday evening and we, the adults are looking forward to it. I hope that they are too.

Here is something I didn't expect, I am a little overwhelmed at how wonderful their foster home is. Foster Dad is as nice as Foster Mom. They are retired and live on a farm, they have a heated above ground pool, a jaw droppingly beautiful playhouse in the yard and more movies on video and dvd that I could shake a stick at. I am feeling a little guilty about taking the kids away from what is obviously a wonderful and loving home.

I am grateful for it too.

The other news is that our social worker has decided to allow us to take the lead and homeschool them if we feel that is in their best interests!

It is nice to be beyond the first meeting.
It was a very special thing.

EDITED To Add:
Yondalla asked what I think of my first impressions NOW, a year later -
I guess that I am slightly surprised at how accurate they were, in some ways.
Monkey is bouncy and outgoing and uses it to hide that thick, icy, protective coating she has around her heart.
Buddy is quieter and a bit reserved in many situations and yet softer too, than I expected.

Bacchus wanted to know if it felt like time has flown by:
Yes, yes, yes!
Almost too fast at times and at others, like when I am sleep deprived, not fast enough :).
Can I believe that it has been a year since we met them?
In my heart it feels like they have been mine forever.

My husband and I are so grateful that we had the support of our social worker to homeschool them. We think that it made a HUGE difference in the time it has taken for all of us to assimilate into the family that we are today and are continuing to become.

No, I am not advocating it as a cure all for attachment woes or anything like that...it is just that for us and for our kids, it is something that works well and something that we can do.